Monday, June 25, 2007

Helping Hilary out with one of the "most important questions" of her campaign...

Hilary wants to “know what you’re thinking about one of the most important questions in this campaign.” It is a question that they have been struggling with and debating for months she says. So what question might that be? What to do in Iraq? Nope, she has already got the surrender plan, is the question about health care? Nah, she has already got the solution for that too with socialized medicine.

The important question that she needs help on is ‘what her theme song for the campaign should be?’ Watch the video on you tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FV7XU-TLMU

Maybe we should make a list of suggestions and send them to her. After all, she did want to have a conversation with the American people. I don't think she would like the ones I am thinking of, but she did ask, and being the ever so nice guy that I am I felt obliged to help.

The first song that came to mind was from Elton John “The Bitch is Back” although the song is quite fitting I am not sure it would appeal to the 30 and younger mindless idiots she is trying to persuade. I realized I needed to think like the Nimrods that get behind a candidate because of a song rather than issues. So instead of the “Bitch is Back” how about “Baby Got Back” Then the more I thought about it why does Justin Timberlake get to be the only one to “Bring Sexy Back?”

Of course the only way she could bring sexy to anything is if “Billy’s Got His Beer Goggles On” ~ Neal McCoy which she should have thought about “Before He Cheats” ~Carrie Underwood. Cause Billy couldn’t resist “A Devil with a Blue Dress” ~Mitch Ryder “She Goes Down” ~Motley Crue or perhaps it was the “Black Magic Woman” ~Santana that led to “Love on the rocks…don’t be surprised…pour me some drinks…tell me more lives…”~Neil Diamond. Which left her to “Cry Cry Cry” ~Johnny Cash. Of course Hillary is definitely “Not Ready to Make Nice” ~Dixie Chicks

Surely through her life she has learned “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” ~Rolling Stones and “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” ~by Tears for Fears…but if “I Fall Your Going Down With Me” ~Dixie Chicks

Of course Hillary is not going to fall, not with “Friends in Low Places” ~Garth Brooks somehow Vince Foster comes to mind, may God rest his soul. The Who says we “Won’t Get Fooled Again” but Foreigner brings us “Head Games” and there is a whole lot of “Jive Talkin” ~ Bee Gees…and “Blowin in the Wind ~Bob Dylan to cover up their “Dirty Deeds” ~AC/DC

So, “If the Whiskey Don’t Kill Me, Her Memory Will” ~George Jones before we head on a “Highway to Hell” ~AC/DC aboard a “Crazy Train” ~Ozzy Osbourne that is sure to be a “Train Wreck” ~Sarah McLachan and It’s the End of the World as We Know It” ~REM As “Head Like A Hole” ~Nine Inch Nails is blaring: "Bow down before the one you serve, you’re going to get what you deserve"...with Hillary in a leather bondage outfit while the song plays, and the mindless hillafreaks in attendance giving her the "I'm not worthy" salute...and that is the day the "Squerrrells Went Berzerk ~Ray Stevens in the “November Rain” ~Guns N Roses before the “Civil War” ~Guns N Roses

Whatever song she chooses, she promises to not sing it in public, unless she wins! Well…a whole other reason not to vote for her. As if I needed another one.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

you forgot "Witchy Woman" Eagles...lol nice pics

Jake Gordon said...

Dude, you made me lose my lunch, and I like you for it.

Let me explain, I usually check out the internet while I eat my lunch at work and I came accross your blog. I love it...

As I was reading and eating I had just taken a bite out of my Wendy's burger when I scrolled down and with out warning there is Hilary in leather.

I had to spit my burger out from laughing so much...